The “50 Reasons for Climate Change” Skepticism

Stephen Maxner

Recently Bret Stephens (noted Never Trump “conservative” formerly of the Wall Street Journal) penned his first editorial for the New York Times, and he (gently) challenged the dogma of climate change (while all along virtue signaling that, of course, he is on the correct side of the issue and not an ignorant cretin like the rest of us on the right), which has given the left its usual opportunity to preen and signal their overwhelming virtue at the glory of all things plain and true. Summed up aptly by Obama speechwriter Ben Rhodes in this tweet:

Ben Rhodes‏ Verified account @brhodes: “As a father of young kids, I honestly don’t understand how climate change is treated as some partisan issue and not an existential crisis.”

So let me offer an answer to his confusion, if I may:

  1. Because you told me un-ironically that your favorite place to vacation is Iran and your favorite movies were Nigerian (generic lefty).
  2. Because you will boast about flying your private plane everywhere, including to get a cheeseburger, and then without blinking lecture the rest of us about our excessive carbon emissions (Harrison Ford).
  3. Because you will rail against executive pay, but when it is pointed out that the discrepancy is even greater between the cameraman and movie stars, you will respond by saying “movie stars are different” (Warren Beatty).
  4. Because you will force a massive bureaucratic expansion and expense down our throats while excluding yourself and your employees from the same (Obamacare).
  5. Because you will be a leading voice in Hollywood against carbon emissions and showily drive a Prius while being worth hundreds of millions and still own huge (carbon emitting) mansions and flying cross country frequently on your (massively carbon emitting) private jets without blinking an eye (the Davids, but really, pick a hypocrite celeb/politician).
  6. Because you will throw a benefit concert to raise carbon awareness without realizing the carbon excess required for a benefit concert.
  7. Because: Al Gore.
  8. Because Hillary Clinton will make hundreds of millions of dollars while screeching about income inequality.
  9. Because Bernie Sanders will cry about people making too much and having too much while owning four houses.
  10. Because there used to be an ice bridge between Asia and North America thousands of years ago, so apparently, stuff has been melting for quite some time.
  11. Because there are more polar bears than before.
  12. Because not so long ago you were telling us that we were in danger of an ice age.
  13. Because you have been saying consistently, for decades, that there were too many people in the world and we would run out of food within a decade.
  14. Because you have been saying for decades that oil was about to run out (we have more oil than ever).
  15. Because recycling costs more than it saves, but you would rather poke hot irons into your eyes than give up recycling even if it made environmental sense.
  16. Because you refuse nuclear energy because it makes you think of a bomb.
  17. Because you hate the oil that has literally saved millions upon millions of lives because it is icky and you saw a sad duck once.
  18. Because you have been wrong on every prediction you have ever made about the environment.
  19. Because you march with masks and threaten physical harm on others while calling them fascists.
  20. Because you look at history and somehow conclude that all we need is a little more government directive and decision making.
  21. Because you constantly cite Cuba and Venezuela as cultural models, and the scary part is you mean it (you would, of course, assume the role of Castro or Chavez while the rest of us would be content in our new “equality”).
  22. Because you insist when I look at a man with a penis who says he is a woman, I must alter my reality for this confusion.
  23. Because you will say there is no such thing as male or female, but if there were, this is how, say, alcohol might affect you differently. But only as a theory, of course.
  24. Because you tell me there are 37 genders or something.
  25. Because you will put “I identify as (fe)male” in your bio.
  26. Because you will put “I identify as they” in your bio.
  27. Because you will tell me that Islam is the religion of peace and Christianity is full of hate.
  28. Because you will throw a fit at home about women being called “bossy” while passionately defending a culture that does now allow women to leave their homes unless entirely covered up, with an escort, and their husband’s permission.
  29. Because you believe a head cover meant to protect men from women’s sexuality is fine and men making the first move on a date is “rape culture.”
  30. Because you believe in such a thing as “rape culture.”
  31. Because if a drunk man and a drunk woman have sex and the woman later regret it, that is considered rape by the man.
  32. Because even though a woman can work, stay home, work-stay home-work, any combination therein, be taken care of, use her sex as a tool of manipulation and power while slandering a man for recognizing the weapon, or simply have a career, yet a man only has one choice; and somehow men are the “oppressors.”
  33. Because you will tell me people who believe Jesus turned water into wine are idiots while thinking the Indian flying spirit horse is an enlightened thing.
  34. Because while the entire world strives to teach their students English to allow them a greater opportunity in a connected world where English has become the international language, you insist nobody in the country that made this so be “forced” to learn the same.
  35. Because you will tell me America is full of historical evils, has done nothing for no one ever while the rest of the world simply wanted to live life in peace and treat everyone with kindness and respect.
  36. Because you insist Americans go abroad and have respect for other cultures and you insist that Americans who stay home be courteous and respect other cultures that come here.
  37. Because you think borders are racist.
  38. Because you make me say “undocumented immigrant” instead of illegal alien when the person is from a foreign country and has broken the law to cross our borders.
  39. Because you think the thought process that gets us to 2+2= 4 is more important than learning that 2+2=4 (if it really does, who’s to say, really?)
  40. Because you think old white men who helped shape our knowledge and wisdom through the centuries are worth less because they were white men.
  41. Because you need trigger warnings.
  42. Because: universities.
  43. Because you will not even acknowledge that a baby in the womb with a heart and mind and body who eats and feels might be a person worthy of protection.
  44. Because first it was “global cooling,” then “global warming,” and finally, you just said to hell with it, “climate change!” Hard to argue the climate doesn’t change, amirite?
  45. Because your solution to carbon emissions will not reduce the rise in emissions at all, as only America – only, America! – will actually be required to sacrifice or alter our behavior as we allow the developing nations – and more importantly, already developing China and India – their “turn.” With projections remaining the same either way!
  46. Because you do not engage the skeptics or challengers to your orthodoxy, you eviscerate their character and intellect, which for most of us who go through life, is the sure sign of a coward and bully who knows he or she is standing on quicksand.
  47. Because you have told us about twenty times (give or take) over the last twenty years (give or take), without prevarication or hesitation and in all authority and no uncertain terms that if we did not act immediately it would be too late. So, well, see, isn’t it too late now?
  48. Because you have been caught manipulating data and silencing reports you do not agree with.
  49. Because, if anything, the world has been saved by carbon emissions (or at least the tools and technology allowed by carbon emissions).
  50. Because there is so much hate in your hearts, it is terrifying.


To sum up: I. Do. Not. Believe. You. Do I believe the climate is changing? Yes, always has, always will. Do I believe man contributes? Well, they say cow dung and farts emit a great deal of carbon (I think), and man largely is responsible for keeping cows in business, so, yeah, I am sure our use of nature’s resources has an effect on things. Do I believe the left, the “scientists,” or the politicians are sincere, dispassionate and without an alternative political agenda masked in apparent universal environmental concern in their cries of alarm and their pleas for a solution? Not for a second.

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